Breathing....

“Any great work of art . . . revives and readapts time and space, and the measure of its success is the extent to which it makes you an inhabitant of that world -- the extent to which it invites you in and lets you breathe its strange, special air.”

Such has been the case in the last two days. Since January 6th of this year...i have been auditioning, rehearsing and technically producing RENT at CenterStage. This past weekend, the birth of this production has fallen into the laps and hearts and minds of over 500 people. The reactions have been overwhelming. I am overwhelmed. I have been consumed in putting my heart and soul into what has become the most important, life changing piece of art that I have ever encountered in musical theater...and at times, i have been so tired that I have come home at night and cried because i had very little left inside me to regenerate energy for the countless hours ahead of me...and then...it all clicked. In the last four days, i have watched the cast, crew and production team pour every ounce of energy in their bodies into this show...and after the matinee this afternoon, we had our usual "first sunday talk back" with the audience. Pretty much...they returned to us every bit of hard work we had put into the show...10 FOLD.

Yes, i've got some scars and bruises to my heart, head and body (don't let anyone tell you anything different....THEATER IS A CONTACT SPORT....you have no idea. LMAO.)...but they have all been well worth the result.

I like Erich Fromm's quote,

“Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before.”

So true, right now. So very true. And without the help of 10 of the best crew members, an artist with light, Jane, our lighting designer, Ralph our director, Brian our music director, Meggins our choreographer and a cast of young adults with more talent than you can possibly imagine and about 3 VERY good friends that understand what theater means to me...this journey may have done me in...

“No theater could sanely flourish until there was an umbilical connection between what was happening on the stage and what was happening in the world.”

RENT came out when AIDs was a death sentence. When young people found out, many killed themselves then to face a future of experimental drugs coupled with pain and suffering. One of my dearest high school friends, Frank Pappalardo, died of AIDs. Many of my theater companions in Los Angeles died from this disease before I moved back to NY. One of my friends, Robert Chas, was not unlike Angel in the play, RENT. He gave and gave, was always positive and happy, even in the midst of his own despair...and when he died, we all felt like a part of ourselves left with him.

I guess it comes down to this: When I am gone, what kind of mark will I leave on humanity? I imagine, depending on who is answering the question, it could go either way. However, for the most part, I hope that the choices i make not only for my own personal happiness, but for others, have been the right ones. You never know, though, do you? What's right, what's wrong...especially if you follow your heart.

Kenny Chesney has an amazing song...so beautiful (and I am not a great big fan of country music),

[B][I]And today you know that's good enough for me
Breathin' in and out's a blessing, can't you see?
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I'm alive and well
I'm alive and well[/I][/B]

Breathing in and out. Feels good.