When family couldn't care less - Page 2

aleonn · 04/19/2011, 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmacc702

THIS MADE MY DAY!! hahahah absolutely love it! Luckily for me my girlfriend was more than happy to buy an aquarium for me for my birthday as long as she had "a bunch of pretty colors and a "nemo fish"

Also loved the "reef safe" remark lol

Surf&turf · 04/19/2011, 06:57 AM

I think this would make my wife happy!

sponger0 · 04/19/2011, 07:06 AM

Lol id rather them not be interested. Its called me time lol

UnusualSuspect · 04/19/2011, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmberL

I always feel terrible when I read about people making fun of their spouses and how they fight and couldn't care less about the interests of the other. Your spouse should be your best friend and be supportive of you and your interests.

Agree.

My first tank was a Father's Day giftie from her and the kids. It began as a "family tank", my wife & I both doing work on the tank. One time she found some perceived problem in the tank and decided to medicate. She got the dose-per-gallon wrong and WAY over-medicated. We lost 90% of the livestock. She felt terrible about it, and the tanks have been "mine" ever since.

She doesn't complain about the time or $$$ I spend on the hobby, though. Heck, I'm into photography as well, and I've been known to spend as much on a single Nikon lens as I have tied up in my (small) reef tank.

(I actually own a carbon fiber tripod that cost nearly $1k!)

sharkman121 · 04/19/2011, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davocean

Quote from last girl;
"If we got married I'd be tied to "THAT THING"(pointing shaky finger at tank) forever!"
Yeah, she's gone.
Gotta make sure your significant other is "reef safe".

gweston · 04/19/2011, 10:06 AM

My wife had that 'you are damn crazy' look when I told her I was going to set up a salt water fish tank. Her words are 'I eat fish, I don't look at them'. LOL.

After the tank was set up ... I often caught her staring at the tank. She also has called me at work on occasion when she thinks she notices something 'off'.

Well, that was the 29 gallon. I am building a 125 now, and she has been supportive. Though I'd think if she had a solid grasp on how much the darn thing is costing, she'd probably have a less positive opinion on the matter.

roli112 · 04/19/2011, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gweston

My wife had that 'you are damn crazy' look when I told her I was going to set up a salt water fish tank. Her words are 'I eat fish, I don't look at them'. LOL.

After the tank was set up ... I often caught her staring at the tank. She also has called me at work on occasion when she thinks she notices something 'off'.

Well, that was the 29 gallon. I am building a 125 now, and she has been supportive. Though I'd think if she had a solid grasp on how much the darn thing is costing, she'd probably have a less positive opinion on the matter.

Ha ha my fiance knew about my tank build but guess she didn't realize the size of it until she saw it this weekend, i got that "you are damn crazy look" lol. I guess a 50g. to 180g. is quite a big upgrade.

Megatrev62 · 04/19/2011, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davocean

Quote from last girl;
"If we got married I'd be tied to "THAT THING"(pointing shaky finger at tank) forever!"
Yeah, she's gone.
Gotta make sure your significant other is "reef safe".

DrHub · 04/19/2011, 11:23 AM

My girlfriend bought me a 20 gal tank 4 year ago for my birthday and thought she was crazy. Why would I want a aquarium, its for kid who learn life and death with goldfish...

Fast foward to now and im crazy in love with the hobby, I never imagined in my wildest dream 4 year ago that I would spend all that money in a "simple" aquarium tank.

And my girlfriend, well shes ok with it. Its her who created the monster that I am.

anaya · 04/19/2011, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davocean

Quote from last girl;
"If we got married I'd be tied to "THAT THING"(pointing shaky finger at tank) forever!"
Yeah, she's gone.
Gotta make sure your significant other is "reef safe".

HAHAHA that is hilarious!!!!!!

mtaswt · 04/19/2011, 11:44 AM

I've been trying to get a tank for six years.....the wife would always shoot me down when I brought it up, but this last go I just wore her out on the subject. So the conclusion was------"that thing is NOT going in the house. You can put it in your gameroom" That was fine with me

-------> Fast forward 6 months and she comes to me......"It turned out way nicer than I thought it would......is there anyway we can move it into the house now?" I told her nope, but we can always get another one!

She has since turned out to be my "landscaper" with the tank when I bring new corals home. (although I still have to sneak them in!)

manvsfish · 04/19/2011, 11:46 AM

I have a great wife who understands my passion. As do I with her so that helps. We have a grandkid who loves checking out the tank. He hangs with me while I work on it. At times he's a great help at others he's? I think this hobby has brought us together a little more. She does at times get that look in her eye when I come home with stuff. I've learned the art of stealth. I get the new stuff put in real quick. By the time she notices she replies with "that looks nice". I think that I've tried to involve them with this hobby without getting hurt by rejection if they don't take hold right away. Her son from another marriage, we don't get along, sometimes I catch him checking out the tank and we start up a conversation. It's a great way to get us talking.

reeferdale · 04/19/2011, 11:52 AM

I am in the 'she hates it' club. I feel that I have to sneak downstairs just todo stuff with the tank. Unless there is a major issue, or I am setting up a new system (like now with my 270), I really do not spend a lot of time with it. But in her eyes, I soend too much and I do not do anything with her or the kids becasue of this. It is the only hobby I have, I am home every day, and I take caree of or fix everthing that needs to be done by myself. Sometimes you just can't win

Jlobo · 04/19/2011, 12:00 PM

Yeah, your spouse should be supportive to a point but if the hobby doesn't interest them, chances are they have other hobbies that they like that you could care less about. Kinda works both ways. Who cares if you family doesn't like it? It's YOUR hobby. YOU appreciate it. They have hobbies that THEY like. No biggie

Jlobo · 04/19/2011, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sponger0

lol id rather them not be interested. Its called me time lol

amen

mkbtank · 04/19/2011, 12:03 PM

Great thread! I am in the "Tolerate" club. They (wife and kids) like my tanks only because they know how much I love them.

lilalove · 04/19/2011, 01:28 PM

Nobody in my family even looks at my tank. I still live at home, and occasionally my mom would give me a hard time over the cost of things. Hey, I wasn't behind in bills and rent, so what was the problem? One day I took her to the fish store with me, and she liked a particular fairy wrasse. I saw a way to get her off my back, and I let her buy it for me. She would come check out "her" fish every day. It died, but she'll still walk by and ask about new things in the tank. Her favorite is the tailspot blenny. I got him under an inch, and now he's 2.5 inches. She always says "He's gotten so big!" like a proud grandma.

Just yesterday, I re-did my aquascape. The water was all cloudy and mucked up. She came home and shouted "You aren't taking apart the tank, are you?!" Funny how that works.

On a different note, I did date one guy who wanted to really be involved in my fish tank duties. He never did anything the way I wanted it done, but I felt bad not including him. It didn't work out, but ever since that experience, I think I'd be happier if the next guy that came along wasn't interested in my hobby at all.

sponger0 · 04/19/2011, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilalove

Nobody in my family even looks at my tank. I still live at home, and occasionally my mom would give me a hard time over the cost of things. Hey, I wasn't behind in bills and rent, so what was the problem? One day I took her to the fish store with me, and she liked a particular fairy wrasse. I saw a way to get her off my back, and I let her buy it for me. She would come check out "her" fish every day. It died, but she'll still walk by and ask about new things in the tank. Her favorite is the tailspot blenny. I got him under an inch, and now he's 2.5 inches. She always says "He's gotten so big!" like a proud grandma.

Just yesterday, I re-did my aquascape. The water was all cloudy and mucked up. She came home and shouted "You aren't taking apart the tank, are you?!" Funny how that works.

On a different note, I did date one guy who wanted to really be involved in my fish tank duties. He never did anything the way I wanted it done, but I felt bad not including him. It didn't work out, but ever since that experience, I think I'd be happier if the next guy that came along wasn't interested in my hobby at all.

Like i said 'ahem' me time!!! lol

Lynnmw1208 · 04/19/2011, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilalove

Nobody in my family even looks at my tank. I still live at home, and occasionally my mom would give me a hard time over the cost of things. Hey, I wasn't behind in bills and rent, so what was the problem? One day I took her to the fish store with me, and she liked a particular fairy wrasse. I saw a way to get her off my back, and I let her buy it for me. She would come check out "her" fish every day. It died, but she'll still walk by and ask about new things in the tank. Her favorite is the tailspot blenny. I got him under an inch, and now he's 2.5 inches. She always says "He's gotten so big!" like a proud grandma.

Just yesterday, I re-did my aquascape. The water was all cloudy and mucked up. She came home and shouted "You aren't taking apart the tank, are you?!" Funny how that works.

On a different note, I did date one guy who wanted to really be involved in my fish tank duties. He never did anything the way I wanted it done, but I felt bad not including him. It didn't work out, but ever since that experience, I think I'd be happier if the next guy that came along wasn't interested in my hobby at all.

heh my mom was the same way. She thought I was crazy drilling my tank and "wasting my time with something so pointless". After she saw it filled and the rocks in she claims it's now "beautiful". parents are funny sometimes. it's not her house anyway so she doesn't have to look at it every day lol

Sk8r · 04/19/2011, 01:49 PM

I can't envision being seriously married to somebody who actively despises or resents things that bring me great joy. There's a problem in that scenario that goes right to the heart of the relationship.

sczlars · 04/19/2011, 01:49 PM

Post marital separation (I have my own space now), I started a tank around last newyears... involving the kids, so every time I see them they ask me "anything new in the aquarium??" Yesterday we bought the first fish for it, and we all agreed on the choice (fairy basslet). I love having the kids this involved, as they are learning all sorts of good biology and science stuff, and genuinely like it. The new GF is liking it a lot too, though the joke is that I'm becoming "Mr. Reef" or something like that.

Fun thread; I know about hobbies not being appreciated...

--Lars

Essense · 04/19/2011, 02:01 PM

Interesting thread. By that I mean I identify with it very much.

My GF was first very supportive of the tank with a measured distance (she never helps on the money end, but is very interested in stocking the thing). Then she started to give me attitude with the amount of time I was putting into the tank. I can understand that though, I really enjoy learning about and engaging this hobby so it has takes up a lot of my time.

I figure that whatever I can do to help her into my enjoyment of the reef is ultimately going to be better for both of us and so I try and let her pick out most of the inhabitants. I'm currently trying to get her to understand that we can get corals instead of fish,.. she doesn't get the coral thing.

To get her into the hobby I started by trying to tell her about all the filtration and the nitrogen cycle and I could see she almost entered a coma shortly into these conversations. I changed my approach and asked her to pick out some fish, then she showed a lot more interest. There is a lot of "no we can't have that fish" followed by the explanation why and then the envitable, "no, we just are not going to get that fish".

I've started to sculpt her choices with questions that she generally does a good job researching and I think we'll end up with a very nice tank.

She's told me i'm "obsessed" and other things, i'd have to agree with her. I'd really like if she'd help with some of the tank "upgrades", but I just don't think that is going to happen.

stingythingy45 · 04/19/2011, 02:03 PM

My wife likes the tank a lot,daughter isn't really into it.The inlaws and my family on the other hand don't really comment much.Her sister shows interest but nothing like folks that are really into this hobby.
I've had cable guys over my house freak when they seen the tank,one even had a tattoo of corals and fish.It's refreshing to meet folks that are into this.
I think the biggest let down is there's nobody at work that gives a rats * about the hobby or my tank.It's that old glazed over look if I even mention it(and it's not often).
So,I don't mention it anymore.But,it's a drag not to have somebody to talk with about the hobby at work.

lilalove · 04/19/2011, 02:09 PM

I log on here from work all the time. (As a matter of fact, that's where I am now! Shhhh) One guy got all excited when he snuck up behind me and thought I was on a scuba diving forum. When I told him it was for SW aquariums, he said "Oh" and went on his merry way. Yes, I get that eyes glazed over look too, from practically everyone. One of the managers set up a small FW tank in his office, and asked me for help because he knew I was into fishkeeping. When I tried to explain that he needed to cycle the tank, and how the nitrogen cycle works, he looked at me blankly and asked "So when can I put in fish?" He didn't listen to me, and his tank has since crashed. Not that I'm happy about that but...

Megatrev62 · 04/19/2011, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sk8r

I can't envision being seriously married to somebody who actively despises or resents things that bring me great joy. There's a problem in that scenario that goes right to the heart of the relationship.

You always make sense.................

04/19/2011, 06:57 AM	#27
Surf&turf Registered Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Capon Bridge WV Posts: 288	I think this would make my wife happy! __________________ 90 gallon SPS dominate reef

04/19/2011, 11:44 AM	#36
mtaswt Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 428	I've been trying to get a tank for six years.....the wife would always shoot me down when I brought it up, but this last go I just wore her out on the subject. So the conclusion was------"that thing is NOT going in the house. You can put it in your gameroom" That was fine with me -------> Fast forward 6 months and she comes to me......"It turned out way nicer than I thought it would......is there anyway we can move it into the house now?" I told her nope, but we can always get another one! She has since turned out to be my "landscaper" with the tank when I bring new corals home. (although I still have to sneak them in!) __________________ Current Tank Info: 156g, 8 bulb ATI dimmable powermodule, led moonlights, PM 175 skimmer, 55g sump, Mag 18 return, 2x MP40's @ 75%, BRS dual reactor, ReefKeeper Elite, ATO, & 200 #'s of rock. 2 blood shrimp, 2 cleaner shrimp, 3 sexy shrimp, Oynx clowns (mated pair), purple & yellow tangs, red scooter blenny, breeding pair of Banggai Cardinalfish, Bartlett's Anthias, Maldives Lyretail Anthias, Labout's fairy wrasse, two spot goby, multiple corals (mostly lps), and counting......who said this hobby was cheap?

04/19/2011, 11:46 AM	#37
manvsfish Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Quadersbach, Germany Posts: 147	I have a great wife who understands my passion. As do I with her so that helps. We have a grandkid who loves checking out the tank. He hangs with me while I work on it. At times he's a great help at others he's? I think this hobby has brought us together a little more. She does at times get that look in her eye when I come home with stuff. I've learned the art of stealth. I get the new stuff put in real quick. By the time she notices she replies with "that looks nice". I think that I've tried to involve them with this hobby without getting hurt by rejection if they don't take hold right away. Her son from another marriage, we don't get along, sometimes I catch him checking out the tank and we start up a conversation. It's a great way to get us talking. __________________ 55gl/15gl sump w/coralife skimmer FOWLR

04/19/2011, 12:00 PM	#39
Jlobo Registered Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Lewiston, Idaho Posts: 359	Yeah, your spouse should be supportive to a point but if the hobby doesn't interest them, chances are they have other hobbies that they like that you could care less about. Kinda works both ways. Who cares if you family doesn't like it? It's YOUR hobby. YOU appreciate it. They have hobbies that THEY like. No biggie __________________ 29 cube

04/19/2011, 01:28 PM	#42
lilalove Registered Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 462	Nobody in my family even looks at my tank. I still live at home, and occasionally my mom would give me a hard time over the cost of things. Hey, I wasn't behind in bills and rent, so what was the problem? One day I took her to the fish store with me, and she liked a particular fairy wrasse. I saw a way to get her off my back, and I let her buy it for me. She would come check out "her" fish every day. It died, but she'll still walk by and ask about new things in the tank. Her favorite is the tailspot blenny. I got him under an inch, and now he's 2.5 inches. She always says "He's gotten so big!" like a proud grandma. Just yesterday, I re-did my aquascape. The water was all cloudy and mucked up. She came home and shouted "You aren't taking apart the tank, are you?!" Funny how that works. On a different note, I did date one guy who wanted to really be involved in my fish tank duties. He never did anything the way I wanted it done, but I felt bad not including him. It didn't work out, but ever since that experience, I think I'd be happier if the next guy that came along wasn't interested in my hobby at all. __________________ Karina For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness? - Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey Current Tank Info: 180 gallon reef, 55 gallon sump and refugium

04/19/2011, 07:06 AM	#28
sponger0 Registered Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Virginia Beach Posts: 6,659	Lol id rather them not be interested. Its called me time lol

04/19/2011, 10:06 AM	#31
gweston Registered Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Gardner, MA Posts: 961	My wife had that 'you are damn crazy' look when I told her I was going to set up a salt water fish tank. Her words are 'I eat fish, I don't look at them'. LOL. After the tank was set up ... I often caught her staring at the tank. She also has called me at work on occasion when she thinks she notices something 'off'. Well, that was the 29 gallon. I am building a 125 now, and she has been supportive. Though I'd think if she had a solid grasp on how much the darn thing is costing, she'd probably have a less positive opinion on the matter.

04/19/2011, 11:23 AM	#34
DrHub Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Victoriaville, Quebec, Canada Posts: 10	My girlfriend bought me a 20 gal tank 4 year ago for my birthday and thought she was crazy. Why would I want a aquarium, its for kid who learn life and death with goldfish... Fast foward to now and im crazy in love with the hobby, I never imagined in my wildest dream 4 year ago that I would spend all that money in a "simple" aquarium tank. And my girlfriend, well shes ok with it. Its her who created the monster that I am.

04/19/2011, 11:52 AM	#38
reeferdale Registered Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Southeast Michigan Posts: 165	I am in the 'she hates it' club. I feel that I have to sneak downstairs just todo stuff with the tank. Unless there is a major issue, or I am setting up a new system (like now with my 270), I really do not spend a lot of time with it. But in her eyes, I soend too much and I do not do anything with her or the kids becasue of this. It is the only hobby I have, I am home every day, and I take caree of or fix everthing that needs to be done by myself. Sometimes you just can't win

04/19/2011, 12:03 PM	#41
mkbtank Premium Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NE Philadelphia Posts: 1,164	Great thread! I am in the "Tolerate" club. They (wife and kids) like my tanks only because they know how much I love them.

04/19/2011, 01:49 PM	#45
Sk8r RC Mod Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Spokane WA Posts: 34,628 Blog Entries: 55	I can't envision being seriously married to somebody who actively despises or resents things that bring me great joy. There's a problem in that scenario that goes right to the heart of the relationship. __________________ Sk8r Salinity 1.024-6; alkalinity 8.3-9.3 on KH scale; calcium 420; magnesium 1300, temp 78-80, nitrate .2. Ammonia 0. No filters: lps tank. Alk and cal won't rise if mg is low. Current Tank Info: 105g AquaVim wedge, yellow tang, sailfin blenny,royal gramma, ocellaris clown pair, yellow watchman, 100 microceriths, 25 tiny hermits, a 4" conch, 1" nassarius, recovering from 2 year hiatus with daily water change of 10%.

04/19/2011, 01:49 PM	#46
sczlars Registered Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Santa Cruz, California Posts: 206	Post marital separation (I have my own space now), I started a tank around last newyears... involving the kids, so every time I see them they ask me "anything new in the aquarium??" Yesterday we bought the first fish for it, and we all agreed on the choice (fairy basslet). I love having the kids this involved, as they are learning all sorts of good biology and science stuff, and genuinely like it. The new GF is liking it a lot too, though the joke is that I'm becoming "Mr. Reef" or something like that. Fun thread; I know about hobbies not being appreciated... --Lars

04/19/2011, 02:01 PM	#47
Essense Registered Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Southern California Posts: 140	Interesting thread. By that I mean I identify with it very much. My GF was first very supportive of the tank with a measured distance (she never helps on the money end, but is very interested in stocking the thing). Then she started to give me attitude with the amount of time I was putting into the tank. I can understand that though, I really enjoy learning about and engaging this hobby so it has takes up a lot of my time. I figure that whatever I can do to help her into my enjoyment of the reef is ultimately going to be better for both of us and so I try and let her pick out most of the inhabitants. I'm currently trying to get her to understand that we can get corals instead of fish,.. she doesn't get the coral thing. To get her into the hobby I started by trying to tell her about all the filtration and the nitrogen cycle and I could see she almost entered a coma shortly into these conversations. I changed my approach and asked her to pick out some fish, then she showed a lot more interest. There is a lot of "no we can't have that fish" followed by the explanation why and then the envitable, "no, we just are not going to get that fish". I've started to sculpt her choices with questions that she generally does a good job researching and I think we'll end up with a very nice tank. She's told me i'm "obsessed" and other things, i'd have to agree with her. I'd really like if she'd help with some of the tank "upgrades", but I just don't think that is going to happen. __________________ Good Night Now! Current Tank Info: JBJ NC24 Zoa Garden

04/19/2011, 02:03 PM	#48
stingythingy45 Registered Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: MA Posts: 3,296	My wife likes the tank a lot,daughter isn't really into it.The inlaws and my family on the other hand don't really comment much.Her sister shows interest but nothing like folks that are really into this hobby. I've had cable guys over my house freak when they seen the tank,one even had a tattoo of corals and fish.It's refreshing to meet folks that are into this. I think the biggest let down is there's nobody at work that gives a rats * about the hobby or my tank.It's that old glazed over look if I even mention it(and it's not often). So,I don't mention it anymore.But,it's a drag not to have somebody to talk with about the hobby at work. __________________ Bob Current Tank Info: 90 gallon,mixed Reef,2-250 watt Optix 3 pendants(Phoenix 14K)2-54 watt T5 Super actnics ,ASM G-2 Gate/recirc mods,70 gal. basement sump,20L ref

04/19/2011, 02:09 PM	#49
lilalove Registered Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 462	I log on here from work all the time. (As a matter of fact, that's where I am now! Shhhh) One guy got all excited when he snuck up behind me and thought I was on a scuba diving forum. When I told him it was for SW aquariums, he said "Oh" and went on his merry way. Yes, I get that eyes glazed over look too, from practically everyone. One of the managers set up a small FW tank in his office, and asked me for help because he knew I was into fishkeeping. When I tried to explain that he needed to cycle the tank, and how the nitrogen cycle works, he looked at me blankly and asked "So when can I put in fish?" He didn't listen to me, and his tank has since crashed. Not that I'm happy about that but... __________________ Karina For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness? - Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey Current Tank Info: 180 gallon reef, 55 gallon sump and refugium

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