disappointed that my daughters thread was closed - Page 3

Weezel111 · 06/26/2007, 07:37 AM

not to be a jerk or anything on with this, but, i didnt really see anything really "offensive" in the thread that got shut down...sure towards the end it got a little heated i guess...but after 20 comments and no response from the original poster, what really were people to think...the first page and a half were mostly people saying welcome...there was one jacka$$ that said something about being a skeptic...i have a 9 year old boy, and honestly i dont think he would even know what a "skeptic" was...

i just think y'all are kinda blowing this up more then it needds to be...

by the way, dmack, i can only wish my son would take as great of pride in my tank as your daughters do yours...hes more always trying to go out and play baseball and stuff like that...

good luck!

ps. for all the parents, STOP BABYING YOUR KIDS...yur kids need to grow up with a little bullying and what not...no reason a kid should live in a world of nothing but false positives...dont let them grow up to be 16 and screaming and crying because you bought them a blue $50,000 car instead of a red one...

dc · 06/26/2007, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by virginiadiver69
I suspect it may be an issue of expedience. I'm sure it's much easier to just shut down a harmless thread with no explanation than to deal with the spoilers individually.
Maybe it is more difficult for a mod to delete a unacceptable post than I thought.

There's a lot of reasons to lock over delete. It's usually a judgement call. Once the bandwagon is jumped on, rarely does it get back on track, and it's pretty tainted by then anyway.

MrsPuffs · 06/26/2007, 08:01 AM

I think it's great that your kids get involved in your tank. I have 6 kids myself and my 13, 10, and 6 your old are very involved with me and my tank. My 6 year old can name a lot of fish that the 13 year old can't. My a10 year old daughter also did her sicence fair project on the nitrogen cycle. She did so well with it and I was very proud of her. Keep up the good work with your kids, you never know if one of them will be a great marine biologist someday.

As far as the people on here that are rather rude... I read a lot of post on RC and I see those people that think they know it all. If you notice, most of the "know it all" people are teenagers. I know that there are some pretty smart kids out there, but I also have 3 teens myself and for some reason, when they hit that magic number of 13, they knew ALL and Mom and Dad became stupid. I'm not saying that all teens are like that, but most are. Don't take it personaly I guess is what im saying. Little kids can understand a lot more then what we think sometimes. They are also thicker skined then we may think and sometimes as a parent and wanting to protect our children, we get our feelings hurt worse then the child.

Keep up the good work with the kids, I'm sure it's something they will look back on when they are adults and admire the time they spent learning with you.

john rochon · 06/26/2007, 08:30 AM

having kids myself, I'd honestly say leaving someone or putting someone on the internet at that age is not a choice I'd make.
I'd be there beside them at ever keystroke on the open internet.
especially open forums such as RC. I understand its great to have them into the hobby but being into the hobby and cruising the internet is 2 different things IMO.
theres a lot of wackos out there tank or no tank.

fours2many · 06/26/2007, 08:35 AM

The younger 2 ages 11 and 13 are reef junkies like their parents.

They can frag corals, clean powerheads, know the name of all sps corals in my tanks (we have 5 of them). They know every fish and what is compatable with them. They know the difference between T-5 and MH. They assist with water changes. Put it this way, they are little reef fanatics.

Now, I would never let them post on RC. After some of the posts I have read, there is no way they would be posting anything on here. I will help them search and look up topics on RC, but if they have a question I can't answer, I will post and get and weed through the replies and only let them read the appropriate ones. I do not think there is a safe place on the net for children, even with parents supervising their ever topic and posts. There will always be that 1 person that will take it too far and be rude.

Even if there was a place for just children on RC, I wouldn't let my girls log on there. There are ways around some of the most secure places on the net. How could RC prevent an adult from acting like a child to befriend them? It is impossible.

Kristin

virginiadiver69 · 06/26/2007, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Weezel111
not to be a jerk or anything

I love how people say "not to" be this or "not to" do that and then proceed to do exactly that. It's like when someone will say "not to hijack your thread but..."

Second point: I did not remember the father wanting special treatment for his children. He was just stating his disappointment in the lazy moderation of RC, and for this I strongly agree.

dc · 06/26/2007, 08:37 AM

Thank you for your support!

Justin James · 06/26/2007, 08:42 AM

I'd say the father took that pretty good. If it were my kid i'd be really, really, MAD!

Keep thouse kids in the hobby. They might change the oceans some day!

Ryanqk · 06/26/2007, 08:43 AM

You know, there are some people here on RC who just have no second thoughts about hijacking your thread and posting responses in a quite abrupt and rude manner, whether intentional or not. I think people here need to start making an effort to be more polite here on RC. New reefers can easily be intimidated into leaving the hobby because a few nasty people chase them away. I hope your daughters are not discouraged by those people. Remember when you interact with people online to wear your emotional coat of armor, people will often say things they would never say to your face. I once posted a thread in the lounge section and becuase of the people and atmosphere there i refuse to even look in it anymore! I have a clam thread going that has repeatedly been subject to hijackers but have managed to beat them off and keep it going, it can be frustrating. Someone else on the second page mentioned "students" were to blame for rude posts, once again an ignorant statement. Stereotypes like those perpetuate hostility and are generally just as wrong as racial stereotypes. Many of us students are major contributors to knowledge here, and many of you may once have been students. Please dont blame all students for the actions of one or two.
Ryan

Weezel111 · 06/26/2007, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by virginiadiver69
I love how people say "not to" be this or "not to" do that and then proceed to do exactly that. It's like when someone will say "not to hijack your thread but..."

Second point: I did not remember the father wanting special treatment for his children. He was just stating his disappointment in the lazy moderation of RC, and for this I strongly agree.

i dont think i was being a jerk at all...it was typed there so people (like you) wouldnt take it as critisism...but obviously that didnt work...

on your second point...sum 1 a few posts said they would be right by there kids side blah blah blah...thats the correct attitude right there...not blaming a website moderator (thats absurd) for not watching out for your own kids...that is exactly one of the major problems with parents today...they always want to blame everyone else...yur kid grows up to be a genious rocket scientist...its cuz of good parenting...if he grows up to be a junkie, its the music he listens too, the tv he watches, the games he plays, its never cuz of bad parenting...

moderators keep up the good work!!

Frick-n-Frags · 06/26/2007, 09:00 AM

you stopped it at the right time. touchy thing with kids.
once dad explains some reality, it should be all good

and, as mentioned, the thread in the beginner forum is cruising along nicely.

also, you can see the range of attitudes regarding any given topic that comes with this territory, all the way from the uber-protective freak parents to those who want to keep hammering on someone's poor kid, and the bulk of the bell curve in between

such is life on the innerweb

perrl · 06/26/2007, 10:00 AM

In order to provide a little feedback I started a thread to give possible suggestions for starting a Youth Forum.

http://reefcentral.com/forums/showth...readid=1150109

If you have any suggestions about how RC could make a youth forum work I think we should let them know so that we can help kids rather than harass them.

john rochon · 06/26/2007, 10:27 AM

a good reefing book is priceless

the intentions were good but theres not a reefing forum in the world that doesn't have your conflicts and attitudes.
also, the mods do a fantastic job here. it is impossible to screen every post here .

Weezel111 · 06/26/2007, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by john rochon
a good reefing book is priceless
.

i agree john, get them as many good books as you can find, videos, articles...whatever...you can even print up interesting reading from this site or interesting posts from here that they can read...by the time they are done reading everything , they will be older and able to police themselves on the internet then the problem will be solved...

just my .02

BlueCorn · 06/26/2007, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by virginiadiver69
He was just stating his disappointment in the lazy moderation of RC, and for this I strongly agree.

Honestly we can't win.

If we do nothing we're called lazy.

If we ban someone for their "contribution" on a thread we get called power-mad nazis.

I'm very sorry that we can't cater to your personal notion of what this site should be. All we can do is to continue to moderate this board in the style that allowed it to become the largest reef keeping information resource on the planet. We can't be all things to all people.

RichConley · 06/26/2007, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by silvers
If I was her age and I got trashed like that I wouldent post anymore eather. Its horible how people get flamed on becouse of stupid things like spelling or skepticism. This is a reef forum and the little girl wanted to talk about her tank and people line up to take there swing. If I was her father I would be ready to kick some a$$.

To be fair, the initial post was pretty much unreadable. On boards such as this, your spelling/typing is how the world interacts with you. Spelling that poorly is like showing up to a job interview in a dirty wifebeater. People aren't going to take you seriously.

I was breeding, and selling cichlids to my local LFS at around 10, so I have no doubt that a young kid could keep a reef tank.

If you want your kids to be treated more nicely on the internet, get them firefox. It has a built in spellchecker.

RichConley · 06/26/2007, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by MrsPuffs

As far as the people on here that are rather rude... I read a lot of post on RC and I see those people that think they know it all. If you notice, most of the "know it all" people are teenagers.

I completely disagree. Most of the "Know it alls" around here are people who have been in the hobby for a long time, and can't adapt to changing methodologies, new technology, etc.

Teenagers, in my oppinion, and experience, are still trying to learn. Sometimes their parents just dont realize that THEY dont know it all.

Also, when did parents of this generation get the idea that sheltering children from everything protects them? I have to say, one of the most important events in my life was saying something obnoxious in 4th grade and having a 6th grader beat the heck out of me. You can't learn or grow without adversity. Sheltering your children just guarantees that they wont be able to deal with issues when you're not there.

Weezel111 · 06/26/2007, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by beerguy
Honestly we can't win.

If we do nothing we're called lazy.

If we ban someone for their "contribution" on a thread we get called power-mad nazis.

I'm very sorry that we can't cater to your personal notion of what this site should be. All we can do is to continue to moderate this board in the style that allowed it to become the largest reef keeping information resource on the planet. We can't be all things to all people.

amen!!

SDguy · 06/26/2007, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by virginiadiver69
He was just stating his disappointment in the lazy moderation of RC, and for this I strongly agree.

bureau13 · 06/26/2007, 12:08 PM

The day the moderators decide to stop being "lazy" will probably be the day I find another web forum. Good God people, do you know what you're asking for?!

(obviously only directed at a select few on this thread)

Peter Eichler · 06/26/2007, 12:35 PM

The original thread didn't seem harsh to me, but perhaps I have a thick skin from being on a lot of forums. If nothing else his daughter learned a new word, "skeptic".

The thread being closed is no big deal, each mod has their own style and dc felt the thread should be closed. Another mod might have handled it differently, and there really is no right or wrong; it's a judgement call.

As much as I get sick of hearing Beerguy say that RC can't be all things to all people

, it's very true. If people would have been banned for being skeptical in that thread I would have been botherer while other members seemingly would have been happy with that outcome. The chances we're all going to agree on how things should be run here or in regards to every other aspect of life are slim to none.

dc · 06/26/2007, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Peter Eichler
The original thread didn't seem harsh to me, but perhaps I have a thick skin from being on a lot of forums. If nothing else his daughter learned a new word, "skeptic". The thread being closed is no big deal, each mod has their own style and dc felt the thread should be closed. Another mod might have handled it differently, and there really is no right or wrong; it's a judgement call.

As much as I get sick of hearing Beerguy say that RC can't be all things to all people , it's very true. If people would have been banned for being skeptical in that thread I would have been botherer while other members seemingly would have been happy with that outcome. The chances we're all going to agree on how things should be run here or in regards to every other aspect of life are slim to none.

If I didn't have thick skin, there'd be a few deleted posts in this thread alone.

There are a lot of trolls that come on here, but they usually become pretty obvious. If you are so skeptical, sometimes it's better to keep it to your self. She will learn, or probably already knows that some people are not friendly. I've seen this same attitude towards members that don't speak very good english. Some of them toughed it out, and some left.

Everyone deserves a fair shake. I know a lot of adults here that can't spell or type not sure which is which.

Peter Eichler · 06/26/2007, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dc
If I didn't have thick skin, there'd be a few deleted posts in this thread alone.

Maybe you're just too lazy to care

By the way, I thought the original thread was legit, but also wouldn't have been shocked if it turned out to be a joke post. Which is probably why I didn't bother posting in it.

virginiadiver69 · 06/26/2007, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Peter Eichler
If people would have been banned for being skeptical in that thread I would have been botherer while other members seemingly would have been happy with that outcome.

Banning anyone would have been a little harsh in that instance but a polite reminder of civility BEFORE closing a thread with no explanation would have been the professional thing to do.
But...I guess in the end you are all right, the world can be a cruel and cold place and there may be no better place for a nine year old to learn that harsh lesson than right here on RC!

davidryder · 06/26/2007, 01:20 PM

I have to agree with the few that believe that the replies on the other thread weren't as bad as some have made them out to be. I also agree with beerguy that you can't cater to everyone's ideals and beliefs, but I think they probably do to the vast majority.

As far as the skepticism, there were two posts on two different forums by a supposed 9 year old with barely readable writing - and each post had different words that were spelled incorrectly, so forgive me for being "harsh". I also agree that a 9-year old may be better off supervised on an open-forum if the replies cut her too deeply. I would think that most 9-year-olds would have enough attitude to deal with that thread just fine.

I do however think that this forum would be one of the coolest things when I was 9. Online forums didn't exist when I was 9 - heck, Oregon Trail was probably the extent of my computer experience. That's awesome they have these resources... it gives you so many opportunities to learn - but it should probably be supervised. I hope your daughter didn't take it too harshly!

06/26/2007, 08:35 AM	#55
fours2many Registered Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 385	I have 4 daughters The younger 2 ages 11 and 13 are reef junkies like their parents. They can frag corals, clean powerheads, know the name of all sps corals in my tanks (we have 5 of them). They know every fish and what is compatable with them. They know the difference between T-5 and MH. They assist with water changes. Put it this way, they are little reef fanatics. Now, I would never let them post on RC. After some of the posts I have read, there is no way they would be posting anything on here. I will help them search and look up topics on RC, but if they have a question I can't answer, I will post and get and weed through the replies and only let them read the appropriate ones. I do not think there is a safe place on the net for children, even with parents supervising their ever topic and posts. There will always be that 1 person that will take it too far and be rude. Even if there was a place for just children on RC, I wouldn't let my girls log on there. There are ways around some of the most secure places on the net. How could RC prevent an adult from acting like a child to befriend them? It is impossible. Kristin

06/26/2007, 08:37 AM	#57
dc Moderator Emeritus Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Wyoming Posts: 44,684	Thank you for your support! __________________ Debi ~60 Cube~ Why? Because I said so of course. -Sent via Tapatalk Smoke Signals-

06/26/2007, 08:43 AM	#59
Ryanqk Registered Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Ft. Lauderdale Posts: 1,381	You know, there are some people here on RC who just have no second thoughts about hijacking your thread and posting responses in a quite abrupt and rude manner, whether intentional or not. I think people here need to start making an effort to be more polite here on RC. New reefers can easily be intimidated into leaving the hobby because a few nasty people chase them away. I hope your daughters are not discouraged by those people. Remember when you interact with people online to wear your emotional coat of armor, people will often say things they would never say to your face. I once posted a thread in the lounge section and becuase of the people and atmosphere there i refuse to even look in it anymore! I have a clam thread going that has repeatedly been subject to hijackers but have managed to beat them off and keep it going, it can be frustrating. Someone else on the second page mentioned "students" were to blame for rude posts, once again an ignorant statement. Stereotypes like those perpetuate hostility and are generally just as wrong as racial stereotypes. Many of us students are major contributors to knowledge here, and many of you may once have been students. Please dont blame all students for the actions of one or two. Ryan __________________ MOM! I'm God Of The Sea People! Behold my tiny minions gloveling at my likeness! Current Tank Info: 75gl display, 20gl long fuge, CPR overflow, Octopuss NW150 skimmer, 4 x 110w VHO T12's and supplemental actinic, ongoing projects... Last edited by Ryanqk; 06/26/2007 at 09:22 AM.

06/26/2007, 09:00 AM	#61
Frick-n-Frags Registered Member Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: north central OH Posts: 10,740	you stopped it at the right time. touchy thing with kids. once dad explains some reality, it should be all good and, as mentioned, the thread in the beginner forum is cruising along nicely. also, you can see the range of attitudes regarding any given topic that comes with this territory, all the way from the uber-protective freak parents to those who want to keep hammering on someone's poor kid, and the bulk of the bell curve in between such is life on the innerweb __________________ Only Dead fish swim with the current. Current Tank Info: 2 50 gal tanks, sump, still BB

06/26/2007, 12:35 PM	#71
Peter Eichler Registered Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Milwaukee Posts: 6,081	The original thread didn't seem harsh to me, but perhaps I have a thick skin from being on a lot of forums. If nothing else his daughter learned a new word, "skeptic". The thread being closed is no big deal, each mod has their own style and dc felt the thread should be closed. Another mod might have handled it differently, and there really is no right or wrong; it's a judgement call. As much as I get sick of hearing Beerguy say that RC can't be all things to all people , it's very true. If people would have been banned for being skeptical in that thread I would have been botherer while other members seemingly would have been happy with that outcome. The chances we're all going to agree on how things should be run here or in regards to every other aspect of life are slim to none. __________________ April 2015 TOTM

06/26/2007, 07:37 AM	#51
Weezel111 Registered Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Chicagoland Posts: 161	not to be a jerk or anything on with this, but, i didnt really see anything really "offensive" in the thread that got shut down...sure towards the end it got a little heated i guess...but after 20 comments and no response from the original poster, what really were people to think...the first page and a half were mostly people saying welcome...there was one jacka$$ that said something about being a skeptic...i have a 9 year old boy, and honestly i dont think he would even know what a "skeptic" was... i just think y'all are kinda blowing this up more then it needds to be... by the way, dmack, i can only wish my son would take as great of pride in my tank as your daughters do yours...hes more always trying to go out and play baseball and stuff like that... good luck! ps. for all the parents, STOP BABYING YOUR KIDS...yur kids need to grow up with a little bullying and what not...no reason a kid should live in a world of nothing but false positives...dont let them grow up to be 16 and screaming and crying because you bought them a blue $50,000 car instead of a red one...

06/26/2007, 08:01 AM	#53
MrsPuffs Registered Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Somerset, Ky Posts: 79	I think it's great that your kids get involved in your tank. I have 6 kids myself and my 13, 10, and 6 your old are very involved with me and my tank. My 6 year old can name a lot of fish that the 13 year old can't. My a10 year old daughter also did her sicence fair project on the nitrogen cycle. She did so well with it and I was very proud of her. Keep up the good work with your kids, you never know if one of them will be a great marine biologist someday. As far as the people on here that are rather rude... I read a lot of post on RC and I see those people that think they know it all. If you notice, most of the "know it all" people are teenagers. I know that there are some pretty smart kids out there, but I also have 3 teens myself and for some reason, when they hit that magic number of 13, they knew ALL and Mom and Dad became stupid. I'm not saying that all teens are like that, but most are. Don't take it personaly I guess is what im saying. Little kids can understand a lot more then what we think sometimes. They are also thicker skined then we may think and sometimes as a parent and wanting to protect our children, we get our feelings hurt worse then the child. Keep up the good work with the kids, I'm sure it's something they will look back on when they are adults and admire the time they spent learning with you.

06/26/2007, 08:30 AM	#54
john rochon Registered Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: canada Posts: 2,082	having kids myself, I'd honestly say leaving someone or putting someone on the internet at that age is not a choice I'd make. I'd be there beside them at ever keystroke on the open internet. especially open forums such as RC. I understand its great to have them into the hobby but being into the hobby and cruising the internet is 2 different things IMO. theres a lot of wackos out there tank or no tank.

06/26/2007, 08:42 AM	#58
Justin James Registered Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: NS, Canada Posts: 510	I'd say the father took that pretty good. If it were my kid i'd be really, really, MAD! Keep thouse kids in the hobby. They might change the oceans some day!

06/26/2007, 10:00 AM	#62
perrl Registered Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Mesquite, NV Posts: 51	In order to provide a little feedback I started a thread to give possible suggestions for starting a Youth Forum. http://reefcentral.com/forums/showth...readid=1150109 If you have any suggestions about how RC could make a youth forum work I think we should let them know so that we can help kids rather than harass them.

06/26/2007, 10:27 AM	#63
john rochon Registered Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: canada Posts: 2,082	a good reefing book is priceless the intentions were good but theres not a reefing forum in the world that doesn't have your conflicts and attitudes. also, the mods do a fantastic job here. it is impossible to screen every post here .

06/26/2007, 12:08 PM	#70
bureau13 Registered Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: South Florida Posts: 1,936	The day the moderators decide to stop being "lazy" will probably be the day I find another web forum. Good God people, do you know what you're asking for?! (obviously only directed at a select few on this thread)

06/26/2007, 01:20 PM	#75
davidryder Claris or Elliot? Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Nightopia Posts: 2,750	I have to agree with the few that believe that the replies on the other thread weren't as bad as some have made them out to be. I also agree with beerguy that you can't cater to everyone's ideals and beliefs, but I think they probably do to the vast majority. As far as the skepticism, there were two posts on two different forums by a supposed 9 year old with barely readable writing - and each post had different words that were spelled incorrectly, so forgive me for being "harsh". I also agree that a 9-year old may be better off supervised on an open-forum if the replies cut her too deeply. I would think that most 9-year-olds would have enough attitude to deal with that thread just fine. I do however think that this forum would be one of the coolest things when I was 9. Online forums didn't exist when I was 9 - heck, Oregon Trail was probably the extent of my computer experience. That's awesome they have these resources... it gives you so many opportunities to learn - but it should probably be supervised. I hope your daughter didn't take it too harshly! __________________ A rolling stone gathers no moss... Current Tank Info: 90g mixed reef, corner overflow (Mag 9.5), 25g refugium (Mag 5), 15g refugium, Orbit 260w pc, Pan World 50PX-X (Closed loop), AquaC EV-120 (now skimmerless)